Saturday, December 10, 2005

Carpe Diem!

Being a stay-at-home mom has left me somewhat out of touch with adults. A dear friend has inspired me to try a blog in the hopes of regaining contact with the nontoddler world (although I am sure most of my topics will revolve around one). Also, being 8 months pregnant, I find myself an incurable insomniac in need of something to do. I refuse to do the nesting thing while hubby and baby are peacefully asleep. Can you tell I'm jealous?

I hope this blog gives my friends insight into my life. I'm not always the best at communicating what goes on in my life. Plus, we are all so busy with family and jobs, it seems we can never get together. I cherish the time we do see each other, for these beautiful people are not just friends, they are family.

This blog also provides an artistic outlet. Not that anyone would know it, but I love to write. (See, dear friends, you are already learning something new about me.) I'm not a writer by any means, in fact I am probably in dire need of a class or two, but I'm going to give it a shot. After all, what did we learn in school? In order to become a better writer, you have to write.

And so my blog begins...

Why Carpe Diem? I absolutely believe in seizing each and every day. My twenties were a time of "finding myself." It was almost like my own Dark Ages. Sure I went to college, got a great teaching job, and found myself married. Great accomplishments, right? However, I think I spent those years doing more or less what was expected of me. I didn't take the time to really think about what I wanted outside of a job. I absolutely love teaching, but more on that in a later blog.

That decade was spent just living, not asking what else is there? Or, when I did occasionally "dream," I didn't stand up for myself and go for it. At the time, I was too afraid of change. My life was safe, unhappy at times, but safe. I still had a lot of maturing to do, and most importantly, I needed to find courage within.

I finally awoke in my early thirties. I started speaking up for myself and voicing my opinion. This caused great turmoil in my marriage. Needless to say, it ended in divorce. My life was no longer "safe," and yet it was saved. There was no certainty, but there was endless possibility.

The paramount desire was to have children and family, funny in that I was avoiding it so much in my twenties. I didn't care if I had to go to a sperm bank, I was going to have children! Fortunately, I took a much more exciting road, I fell in love with Paul. We are married, have a wonderful little boy, and are awaiting the arrival of a baby girl.

In sharing this brief synopsis of my life, I'm hoping to get my point across... Carpe Diem! I spent over ten years trying to figure out what would make me truly happy. I also spent that time slowly finding my voice so I could take a stand. My family and friends that have always had this strength are my heroes. They have shown me what is possible. I don't regret what I have experienced, just that it took me so long. Now, I treasure each day and its possiblities. Only I can ensure that my day is memorable. This doesn't mean I'm white water rafting the Colorado every day, just that I do what is important to me. Today, that means hugging, kissing, loving and spending time with my husband and baby. Carpe Diem!

3 comments:

Katie said...

You, my friend, are a writer!!! (An inspiration too.) Keep on bloggin'. Love, Katie

Stella said...

Hey there Blog-Babe! How exciting is this??? I *LOVE* that you too have started your own blog...

Your opening post is absolutely beautiful. I am so proud of you for taking the steps to "Seize The Day" and fight for your dreams!

*Hugs* to you and your family!

Merry Mama said...

You made the right choice, Tina. I hate all this feminist pressure to have a career and "be somebody." So many of us just want to be a mother, and that's okay, too.

Thank you for "siezing the day" and reading my blog. I 'preciate it.