Saturday, May 13, 2006

Ode to a Snot Rocket

In honor of our kids repeatedly getting colds, I thought an ode was necessary. Laurel, only 3 months old, has become quite familiar with the Snot Rocket (a.k.a. nasal aspirator). The minute she sees it coming, her entire body tenses up. She stretches her neck out as far as possible and turns her head side to side, hoping to escape. Her hand/eye cordination has improved significantly while trying to knock the Snot Rocket away from her sensitive little nose.

Ian, being the curious toddler that he is, is usually pretty fascinated by the whole process being performed on his baby sister. I've caught him on occasion looking in the mirror with the Snot Rocket jammed into his nose. I offer to help him out with it, but then he shakes his head, very clearly says, "No," hands me the aspirator and walks (in all honesty, runs) away. I haven't been able to use that thing on him in probably over a year. He's just too strong. With the rivers of snot that keep running down his lip, I probably need to teach him how to blow his nose. I wonder, at what age do kids learn to do that?

At any rate, here's my attempt at poetry...

An Ode to a Snot Rocket

Oh, Snot Rocket, how I hate thee,
Your blue bulbous shape definitely scares me.
Of what is to come, I can only imagine,
To escape, I need the strength of a steam engine.
Oh you wretched, cursed thing,
That comes with the cold that I get every spring.
Oh the humiliation, the indignation and anguish I feel,
As you're put up my nose, making me squeal.
I know I can't smell anything or even breathe,
But your intrusion into my nose just makes me seethe.
Really, I don't mind the rivers of ooze that just keep a flowing,
Above my lip a snot mustache is growing.
As your menacing self slowly advances,
I'll swat at you feverishly taking no chances,
At letting your daunting self get to my nose,
Trying to extract yellowish stuff that flows.
Oh please, oh please, leave me alone,
Even though my nose desperately needs to be blown.


Mary P. said...

"Snot rocket"! LOL

To be honest, those things disgusted me so much that I actually preferred the oozing nose to dealing with the bulb. Ick!

When do kids learn to blow their noses? I've had the occasional genius baby who could do it at 15 or 18 months, but most don't get it until somewhere between 2 and a half and three and a half. And then there is the just turned 4-year-old I have right now who can't...

(But if he blew, then when would he get to practice his admittedly exceptional ability to put the tip of his tongue right into his nostril? EEEEWWW...)

carrie said...

I have so been there and done that too many times to count! I love your description of the lovely aspirator and will indeed bogart the phrase if I ever need to use one again. Hopefully not on my own kids (9,7 and 2.5). As far as blowing goes, my daughter (youngest) had it down from 12 months on, but the boys didn't have it figured out until at least three.

Mom101 said...

This is hilarious! I love snot rocket. We've always called ours The Snot Sucker of Doom.

Mitrapa said...

LOL Nice poem!
As I am from Sweden I have never seen one of those devices, alien things....
Strange, LOL no wonder your children hesitate.
Have tree children myself, always used my fingers, looked them in the eyes and made a noze blowing mimic myself and they did the same from early months.
You have a nice page and good luck with your children.

Amy (binkytown) said...

Ha- we call it the booger sucker! My ped gave me some good advice and told me to go out and find the ones that are shaped differently, not the big bulb with the long tube, ones like this:
it worked so much better for me! I feel your pain..

Anonymous said...

Nils, as a Swede, you probably know Nosefrida, it is available in the States now. It's what they give out in the children's hospitals in Scandinavia, the bulb is non existent there because it can be dangerous. It has worked great for my kids.