Thursday, August 10, 2006

What's That Smell?

I wake up in the middle of the night. It's quiet, I don't hear either child crying. In fact, Paul isn't snoring for once. So why did I wake up? I lay there a minute, take in a deep breath, and then it hits me square in the nose...a stench drifting from some unknown origin. What is that smell? I check both kids' rooms, sniffing around expecting to find vomit or something worse. Surprisingly, my nose detects nothing in either room.

Too tired to investigate downstairs, especially since I need to take advantage of the fact both kids are asleep, I decide to ignore the offending odor. To sleep I go, hoping I don't forget to follow up on the stench in the morning.

There is no chance of forgetting, the smell permeats the entire downstairs level. I go into the kitchen to get Ian his daily fix of milk a-la-sippy cup. The funk is so heavy in there I gag. Quickly I check the garbage, nothing. Next, the sink and garbage disposal, nothing. As I open the fridge and grab the milk, I nearly pass out from the funk that fills my nostrils. BINGO!

I open the vegetable and fruit compartments, nothing. I search each shelf, nothing. Where is that smell coming from? The freezer, no. Then I remember, I keep onions and potatoes on top of the fridge. I reach up and drag down the basket containing said produce. Something drips. Drips, can that be right? To my horror, I find that an onion has liquified. Never have I smelled anything so putrid. Seriously, I've changed many a diaper, cleaned vomit, and diarrhea, nothing comes close except the trash barrel that sits outside baking its contents of trash and diapers all week in the Arizona sun.

I "pour" the contents of the basket into the trash can as I breathe through the shirt I've pulled up over my nose. The basket is dripping wet from the onion. There's no way I'm touching malodorous onion goo, so of course the basket winds up in the trash too.

The plastic bag is quickly knotted and taken out to the trash barrel. Cans of air freshener are sprayed, all the ceiling fans get turned on and I get busy cleaning up the liquid from the top of the fridge and the floor. It takes a while, but eventually we are able to breathe again.

12 comments:

Peter said...

Nice work, locating and disposing of the offending oder. Could you come by my house and see if you can hunt down the elusive Whiff. Although it has not been around in a while.

Elizabeth said...

gross

Damselfly said...

Wow, you're good when a smell like that wakes you up in the middle of the night ... from another room, even .... must've been pretty bad.

Stella said...

Ewwww! I hate when stuff like that happens!

Did you have fun???

Mrs. Chicky said...

Eeeew. Eeeeeeeewwwww. EEEWWWWWW.

I don't blame you for throwing out that bowl as well. I would have done the same thing.

Mary P. said...

Eeew. NOTHING stinks like a rotten onion. Except maybe rotten tomato. Chasing down the Whiff? (Love that word, Peter!) That's my job in this house. My sweetie has sinus problems that really reduce his sense of smell, so if there's a Whiff, I'm the lucky one tracking it down.

Urgh.

He says he's glad he can't hardly smell, since most of the time the stuff I notice is GROSS.

Oblivious Maven said...

Blech! That fridge motor radiates heat, I'd quit putting that stuff up there to expire so fast.

Your kids have kept you from cooking, haven't they? Made you a little distracted? Yup!

Mommy off the Record said...

The onion LIQUIFIED?? Wow, that must have been some smell! LOL

Approximately every six months I forget about an onion somewhere in my pantry or refrigerator. That smell is so gross! Totally grosser than dirty diapers!

carrie said...

Sounds like and assignment for the show "Dirty Jobs" on the Discovery Channel! Way to go not losing your cookies mama!!

Carrie

ps. why are the mommies always the lucky ones to find strange, scary and smelly things while the daddies are slumbering away? I swear, this always happens in my house!

beth said...

Oh, that's awful. I was so afraid it was going to be something...wet that was once...solid.

Thanks for the link! I've done the same.

Lady M said...

Yuuuuuck! Every so often, I'm grateful that I was too lazy to remove some vegetable from its plastic bag before putting it in the fridge . . . because those liquid veggies, eeeew.

By the way, that Elmo was pretty scary. I might have run off screaming too.

Thanks for stopping by my site!

Binkytown said...

Ewwwwww! Time for the febreeze- I love that stuff!