Tuesday, August 01, 2006

Got Phone, Will Talk

Telemarketers beware! I have a toddler, and I'm not afraid to use him!

All too frequently, our little family is sitting at the dinner table when the phone rings. Thanks to caller ID, we know it's some charity driven group, or worse yet, it's evil telemarketing scum (although we should NOT be receiving the latter since we signed up on the national do not call registry). My apologies to anyone I've offended, I just find strangers trying to get something from me via phone very annoying.

I'm busy trying to get a load of laundry done, again the phone rings and it's a charity drive. What to do, what to do. Answer it? NO! Let them leave yet another hang up on the answering system? NO!

Solution: give Ian the phone.

With phone in hand, I quickly run to where Ian's playing.

Me: Ian, talk on the phone, ok?

Ian: Ok, mommy.

I press TALK, set it to speaker phone so both Ian and I can hear the other person, and hand it over to a very excited little guy.

Ian: Hiiiiiiiiiii (in sweet sing-song style).

Evil telemarketing scum: Hi, is your mom there?

Ian: Hiiiiiiiiiii.

Evil telemarketing scum: Can you get your mommy?

Ian: Hiiiiiiiiiii. Giggle, giggle.

Evil telemarketing scum: Where's your mommy? Go get your mommy, ok? (Alright, so this woman is being very sweet in how she talks with Ian, and maybe she's not all that evil. Still, this is cracking me up and decide to let Ian have some fun.)

Ian: Ok. Hiiiiiiiiii.

Sweet telemarketing scum: Hi. Give the phone to your mommy, ok?

Ian: Ok. Giggle, giggle. (This boy is in heaven. I think he's not being as talkative as he could be, so I give him a topic.)

Me: (Whispering, so as not to be heard.) Tell her about the garbage truck.

Ian: Garbage truck coming, trash barrel upside down.

Sweet telemarketing scum: Umm, go get your mommy ok?

Amazed that the sweet telemarketing scum hasn't hung up yet, I decide to go around the corner and throw some laundry into the washing machine.

Ian: Black trash barrel upside down.

Sweet telemarketing scum: You need to give the phone to your mommy. Go find your mommy, ok?

Ian: Ok. Garbage truck coming today, black trash barrel upside down.

Sweet telemarketing scum: Hi. What are you doing?

Ian: Trash into hopper.

Sweet telemarketing scum: Are you playing with the phone?

Ian: Phone.

Sweet telemarketing scum: You need to give the phone to your mommy. Ok?

Ian: Ok.

Sweet telemarketing scum: I'm going to go. Give the phone to your mommy, ok?

Ian: Ok, hiiiiiiiiii.

Sweet telemarketing scum: Ok, give the phone to your mommy. I'm going to go, bye.

Ian: Hiiiiiiiiii.


Ian: Hiiiiiiiiii.

Poor guy, he thought he had found a friend. This conversation ended way too soon in his opinion. As for me, I had a great laugh and managed to start a load of laundry. I will definitely give Ian the phone from now on whenever someone annoying calls our house.


Mrs. Chicky said...

Hee hee, great idea!

Nut's mom said...

great idea. it's a shame that we signed up for the do not call list. now when people call I say I am a lawyer and I am going to sue their a$$es!! that works too. I have no problem being rude and interrupting their speil. tee hee!!

Oblivious Maven said...

Ooohhhh, me likey this idea!

Let me know how you get that load of laundry finished now that you started it, lol!

Your baby pics below in another post are adorable. :o)

Mommy off the Record said...

OMG, this is ingenious!! I am totally putting this one in my bag of tricks for when Little Guy gets old enough to say "hiiiiii".

So funny!

Domestic Chicky said...

Wow...brilliant! I am so going to try this. Thanks for dropping by-can't wait to read more!

Stella said...

Can I borrow Ian???? Ha! Ha! Ha!

Peter said...

That is a great move. My kids don't talk on the phone though. I am not sure why.