Where was I? I missed it. Even when I was made aware of Laurel's newest accomplishment, I didn't go running to see. I kept doing whatever mundane chore had to be done and simply nodded. Where was my enthusiasm and support for my ten month old daughter? Paul had to repeat the exciting news to get me to verbally acknowledge this milestone in my daughter's life.
The last few weeks, I've been trying to come to terms with the fact that with each step Laurel takes, the baby disappears and the toddler emerges. Don't get me wrong, I love toddlers, it's just in my eyes, it's too soon for the baby to leave. I'm selfish. I want Laurel to be a baby for longer than she wants to. She's ready to run with Ian, while I'm ready to sit and cuddle.
How quickly the last ten months have flown by. I
Now I realize many of the things I've listed above continue, in fact into adulthood. But let's face it, babies do it differently, the way only a baby can. The look of innocence as Laurel blows raspberries with a mouth full of food, can only exist now. We try to preserve these moments with cameras, camcorders, and by writing them down. These efforts help, but I selfishly want to freeze time in a manner that allows me to enjoy my family just as they are today, but only for a much longer period of time.
I know, I know, come back to reality. I should delight in all the discoveries Ian and Laurel make on a daily basis, and believe me, I DO!!!! It's just, Laurel, could you please slow down a bit on growing up? I need time to catch up.